Leaving it in 2017!

Saying a final good-bye to 2017! Listing all the things that I am going to leave behind. Hoping for the best and preparing for the worst this New Year!!


2017 was not a very good year for me neither it was too bad. Not going to rant about it much but 2017 really got on my nerve till the very end. This year everything changed, like everything; from my toothpaste to shampoo, from my city to hangout place, from my friends to my loved ones. I feel changed myself too!

When I look back in my life, I’ve come to know a fact that nothing really stayed for too long in my life, even my own self. In other words, my life is a graphical representation of sine/cosine function. Now you will say that everybody’s life is like that, nothing is constant BUT trust me my friend that’s not the case here. I studied for 14 years in the same school and I never had a single person beside me whom I can call my friend for not more than a year in my whole school life. “People come and go”, I got that thing quite earlier. You can tell now why I don’t really stick around with people for longer period of time. I was kind of a loner always. Reason being, thinking and thoughts don’t really match-up well and I don’t compromise when it comes to getting along with people, I think its a waste of time! Never felt like I needed anyone during those days, just me, the subject and all those textbooks related to the subject! At one moment my classmates used started to call me “topper” but I’ve never really considered myself that. Infact I used to think my classmates were a bunch of morons for not able to tackle down our shitty Indian education system (except of few), that’s all!

Anyway coming back to 2017, it really was an eye-opening year for me. I really got to know more about myself and also more about this world that we live in. Still gotta work more on breaking through my comfort zone. It’s a very big deal for me to come out of my comfort zone. I blame my mom for this. She provided me with all the love and care, wouldn’t let me do any kind of work. Due to the same reason I never got any chance to learn some cooking. But 2017 taught me cooking, not talking about boiling noodles but like the REAL proper cooking! That’s one of the good things that happened this year.

Yes, that’s me cooking all by myself :PYes, that image above is the correct representation of me cooking all by myself 🤪

Talking about my professional life. . . . . umm🤔. . . well there is nothing really interesting in there (boring stuff) hence I’m not going to bore you with that. Thank me!

Guess it’s time to make a list of what to carry with myself in 2018 and what to leave in 2017.
  • First of all, I am leaving my lazy-ass in 2017, enough of procrastination!
  • Second, I am leaving all the toxic people and random few-days friends in 2017. Sorry for being rude but if you gotta travel tension free from one place/ time/ dimension to another you need to loose extra baggage.
  • Next, I am leaving all those grudges, feuds or misunderstandings regarding anything in 2017. Not going to carry any kind of hard-feelings with me towards anyone.
  • In 2018, I will be more calm and will focus more on the bright side of any situation, rather than being sad for days.

So friends, that’s a wrap! Sayonara 2017 FINALLY!!

Happy holidays to you all🎊🎉💃🏻

And a Happy New Year 2018 in advance!! Have fun and enjoy!😇

I would like to know how was your 2017 or what you all are leaving behind in 2017 , so comment below!

Thanks for reading my blog.

The Dance of Love

Recalling love: pt-1

So, though he was back.. Still a part of him was still missing. Sometimes while talking to him she had to remind herself that he is not that old crazy lover, like she remembered. She really used to hold herself back while talking to him. It was tough keeping up with this “pretending” game. She really wanted to talk to him like they used to talk, like lovers do. Everyday the main focus was on making him remember what it used to be like before. She knew it will take time… And decided to wait.

But what is the guarantee of getting him back again? What is the guarantee of getting anyone back ever again in your life? They say, broken mirror cannot be fixed. But they also say that true love don’t give up on each other no matter what. And that’s what she believed on and  kept holding onto this “relation”.

One day, he texted her late at night and asked her to share things from their past and how they used to spend their time together. So she reminded him why she ever said yes to him. She replied,

“The day you proposed me, I said yes on the basis of your nature and how well we got along with each other. Next day, something happened. Something very special. You looked me into my eyes and asked me to trust you. And that look in your eyes…. Oh I can’t forget those eyes full of confidence, like you really wanted to be with me, like you really was into me.

And I saw those eyes.. And closed mine and said yes.. I gave all of me to you. I didn’t think twice because it felt so right. I was excited to start this new life with you and only you.

It was like a guy asking a girl for a dance. And when a guy makes his first move, asking the girl to make the next move. Now it’s on girl whether or not to make the next move. And there, when girl makes her moves after the guy.. Then guy makes the next.. And like this it continues.. Now that’s called a dance.. Where both the life partner enjoy each others company, making and giving lead.. Following each other.. Getting hold of each other, touching and feeling every moves. The dance of love.

Now for perfect dance you need perfect choreography, perfect trust.

And you had all of my trust. You had all of my love. The music of love was so loud and clear. It told me not to hold back. And I didn’t. I just danced with you. And ever since then I’ve always wished to dance with you again.”

Everything went silent for a moment. He got speechless.

Shifted to Delhi!

Hi there lovely people,

It’s been ages since I blogged for the last time. Well here are few updates that I would like to share with you guys.

I live in Delhi now. Yikess!😱 I know some of you who knows me very well might be in complete shock, because I’ve always hated this place. Told few of my friends and I got the same shocking reaction from each and every one of them. They all were like- “How come you living in Delhi now? You have always hated that place.”
Well I had to come to Delhi. If not now, then later. First of all, Dehradun (my hometown) is not a place where you can grow. You don’t get more opportunities and for a Computer Science student like me who just freshly graduated, it’s certainly NOT the best option! Second, it was about time that I had to move out of my house in order to live independently. Delhi being the only metropolitan city which is not far away from my hometown was the BEST option for me. Though my parents didn’t forced me to get away with my life but it was my and only my decision. I always wanted to live independently since I was 15yrs old. Always wanted to run away from my family (there was no family). But sadly, we don’t have any good jobs available for teenagers in India, especially for teenage girls unless you have a well settled boyfriend and run away with him (Some girls did that and got played !!Bad option!!). And also to get a good job one must have a college degree. So, I decided to complete my college first. Third, I have all my good friends living here. One of them of-course is my sweet boyfriend.

You see, I never wanted to visit Delhi but I HAD TO.. I had no other option!!

Now, it’s been three months since I am in Delhi. At the beginning, this place was killing me because I am basically a mountain girl, never visited any plain region, always visited a hill station or much cooler place during my entire life till now. You can agree on the fact that people take time to adjust, well in my case I took hella amount of time.. still taking time to adjust! But now I am getting much more used to this. I have been super busy for the first two weeks in shifting and adjusting into my new apartment.

Adjusting took lotsa time. For the first week I didn’t even got high with my boyfriend because the place was creeping me out and I thought if I get high now, then it might creep me out a bit more. Talking about the atmosphere, the amount of oxygen you breathe in here is comparatively low and impure than in Dehradun. All of this sudden changes occuring in my body due to the change in surrounding and atmosphere caused me to lose my health and I stayed sick for almost a month. And whenever I get sick, it makes me miss my mom and all that care and pampering that I used to receive at home. I was always feeling homesick. But that feeling didn’t last for long enough because my bf treats me like a princess and take special care of me. So cute!😘

Surprisingly, I always used to tell people, that I will shift to Bangalore after my graduation because  I hated the other option which was Delhi. The word itself “Delhi” used to make me cringe so much at that time. But as the time passed away it all become more clearer to me that destiny plays an important role in your life. And it was my destiny that made me to come here. I strongly believe that destiny wanted me to see and live here and know the actual truth about the life in Delhi, because most of us what we hear about this place is a plain myth. It’s better not to judge something about a situation without actually living in and experiencing it.

Some of you might be thinking why I used to hate Delhi? Well, I will share all the reasons with you all in my upcoming blogs, so stick around!

Till then keep smiling!! 🙂


Into the woods…

Into the woods we go to loose our mind and find our soul!

Lost and catatonic, I was seeking for a solution from everyone, in every possible way. There had to be someone who would have spelled it all out for me. My inner self slowly giving up.

“What was I looking for again?”- I asked to myself.

Solution, I guess. But solution to what problem?

And then I started becoming more insane. Damn! I don’t know what is the goddamn problem..

There comes a time when we really don’t know what is going wrong with us or around us. In this busy, monotonous world surrounded by people out of which 80% of them got nothing to offer to you other than headache. We sometimes tend to lose ourselves, we tend to lose that inner connection with our one and only soul.

So I back-tracked to the place where I came from. Back in the lap of mother nature. I wrote few lines on mother nature on the occasion of Mother’s Day :

Mountains covered with the mist 
Beauty of nature seemed hard to resist 
Old yellow and brown leaves 
Wind gust making them creak 
And into the woods we go more deep
Away from everyone in search for peace.

Into the woods I go to find myself even more.

I was at peace and found myself, who I really am, what I really seek for. I would have not done this without PsyBird. He took me to the places where I really wanted to be. He took me to that wonderland that I’ve only dreamt about. Though I used to get mad at him at the beginning because you know I am a mf queen 😛 Just kidding!

It’s been more than two month since I am away from my hometown here in this f**kin city and I can’t explain how much I miss home, especially those mountains, forests and all those long road trips. Normally here hanging out means going to malls, lounge, bar and all those crazy clubs who play f**king Bollywood or common English songs. I mean com’on, I would have thought about going to those places if they had good taste in music! How do you expect to create that right ambiance without the right music?! Explain me that!

I feel sorry when hear people telling me about all this stuff like it’s THE ONLY thing in the world left to do.

World is so big and it got lotsa things to offer. I only try to open people’s mind and try to make them think  see what they really missing out. But again you can’t force them to do what they are not capable of.

Anyways, I miss all what I have experienced when I stood there on top of the mountain and cool breeze touching my face. It really cooled down my soul from deep inside. It’s truly said- Heaven is a place on earth. And it become even more wonderful  when you have that someone special standing by your side.

Thanx for reading out my blog!

Keep smiling! 🙂

Trip to Manali and Kasol

!!My first REAL trip!!

Chapter 1- Manali (Local tour)

We all once in awhile reach that point where we want to break free of our life’s daily routine, stress, depression, work etc. Life gets monotonous and boring when we don’t go out of the usual way.

Luckily, to overcome situations like this words like ‘Vacation’, ’Trekking’, ’Hiking’, ’Travel’ are being introduced to us!

Nature is a beautiful place to find that “peace of mind” we all miss and above all, it helps us to find ourselves. So, when I was dealing with such a scenario in my life I decided to move about and wander a little bit on my own in nature. As I belong from Dehradun, I had already sighted nearby places like Mussorie, camped at Rishikesh and hiked countless mountains here and there. So I planned for a trip to Manali and if you are a stoner, you certainly don’t want to miss out Kasol.

It was December and New Year was about to come. Can’t be more perfect to spend my New Year in such a beautiful tourist place, right? Plus I can see snowfall too (though I have seen that for million times, but still can’t get enough of that). I called up bae and told him about my plan and he said ‘Yes’. Why not? So thoughtful of him!

As it was winter season and riding our bike from Dehradun to Manali would have been obviously the dumbest thing to do, so we all planned to go by Volvo. It doesn’t cost much, per head it’s about 1200-1300 rupees. We took Volvo from Doon (Dehradun) around 8pm and reached Kullu by the next morning around 8am.

Kullu, a small town near Manali is a beautiful place in itself. Volvo stops there for few minutes for the passengers to let them have some morning tea. Which we needed by that time so badly (it was freezing like hell!). Cold breeze touching my cheeks, I can sense what I was about to encounter on reaching my final destination.

On asking a local vendor at Kullu, we found out that it had not snowed in Manali till yet (shocking!) but you can see Rohtang, all covered in the snow. Ahh, this reminded me of my childhood days when I used to sight mountains of ‘Chakrata’ from my home. “It might snow in two-three days”, I thought to myself.

We reached Manali by 10-10:30am. Being the tourist season, also the Christmas and New-Year season, place was crowded. Luckily, we all had already booked a hotel online. Our hotel was located far from Mall Road in quiet remote place. Exhausted as we both were, we decided to freshen up, eat and get some rest for the rest of the day.

Next day we both left hotel rooms to tour around local areas such as Hadimba Temple, Manu Temple, Vashisht and Club House.

First we visited Devi Hadimba Temple, situated on a little hill, it was built in 1553. The temple is dedicated to Hadimba of the Mahabharata age, who was married to Bhima, the Pandva. Close by is a gigantic deodar tree with iron knifes of all sorts and sizes, which is worshipped as Ghatotkach, the son of Hadimba and Bhima.

Next on our list was Manu Temple which is dedicated to Manu Rishi. On asking about the history of temple, we found that it is THE ONLY temple of Manu Rishi in India.

Ancient village of Vashisht

Next we visited the ancient village of Vashisht. It’s famous for the hot water springs. The village presents a panoramic view of the entire upper valley from Solang to Naggar. And the lord Rama & Bashisht Rishi temple has wood carving of exquisite quality. People were clicking pictures as usual and to add more to that many colorful hats with weird hairstyles are made available for them. I certainly didn’t click my pics with those hats, they were too funny!

One thing that I personally found attractive was all the beautiful wood carvings done on these temples. Certainly, it was the work of many talented creative artists back in that era which was quite impressive.

By the time when we reached Club House, it was evening. It had a library, a restaurant, a bar, indoor games and roller-skating rink. A perfect place to spend the evening! And it was about time that we get high.

On the way back to our hotel we strolled a little bit in the Van Bihar constructed on the bank of the River Beas. We then soon head back to our hotel as it was getting colder and I didn’t want to catch cold or get sick and then ruin my whole trip. Health comes first!


A side-note For Psy!

Just another day I was sitting alone in my room thinking of all the time that we have spent together and the day when we first met. You brought so many changes into my life in a good way. I can’t thank you enough for being with me and showing me that love and care which was missing all this time in my life. Not only you effected my life and my thoughts but also of those who are around me.

Remember that place we used to visit every evening. Ya, people often ask about that couple who used to roll some together and stayed “high”. I heard it through the grapevine.

I miss getting high with you. No one roll a paper like you roll- so clean! Most importantly, miss being with you.

You maybe a misfit for others but you fit perfectly with me. 🙂 XOXO!

My first time… with Psy!

I have heard people around me talking about that several times (especially boys). They used to tell me that it is a fun thing to do and I should try doing that.

Many guys used to ask me to join them. But I was not so sure of myself if I was ready to do that. After all it required lots of hard work and stamina, then only you would be able to enjoy it at the end.

A part of me wanted to do it because it was something new for me to experience and hearing from guys that it makes you feel like you are at top of the world made my soul even more restless. Some guys even told me that it’s good for health and it’s an aerobic activity that gets your heart pumping.

But the other half of me used to say NO because it required lots of stamina and it could be painful for any beginner before one reach the final destination. And if not taking any precautions then it might give you bad results. And also I was an old-school girl in this kinda matter, who wanted to experience all this with “my guy” for the first time. That would have made it more special, right?!

During my first year of college, I was in a relationship with a guy. He seemed right to me in every sense.

“Finally now I can do that”, I thought.

But the guy was not into all that stuff and so I never got any chance. Later, many guy came into my life who were interested in that but somehow I never felt that anyone of them was worth it.

With time all my hope shattered and vision of experiencing that in my life started to disappear.

But good things happen in your life when you least expect it.

I met Psy-Bird. Within only a week he asked me for that. Because he seemed right to me so I agreed. He decided the place and asked me to wear something comfortable. (I was unsure what my attire gotta do with that?)

Next day, excited and a bit nervous, I headed towards his decided place. I had all kinda mixed feelings about that thing. There he was waiting for me and from there he took me to that spot where all this was going to take place.

He gently took my hand and told me to follow his lead. At first it was all going smooth and fine. As the time passed by, I was breathing heavily and was sweating. (It sure do need some stamina!) But he kept going on. I asked him to slow down but he said this way we are never going to make it. So he pushed and pulled me towards him and tried everything.

Oh gosh! I am going to faint now. Suddenly he lifted me. I looked at him. He was all hot n’ sweaty. And finally we made it!!!

I must say when I reached our final destination it all felt magical. It felt like I am on cloud nine. The view was mesmerizing and breath-taking. He held my hand tightly as we looked at the view of the mountains covered with fog.

We rested there on top of the mountain till evening and had quite a time together. It was just us and no one else.

Yes, my dear friend.. This was my first time HIKING with Psy!! 

Haaa!! Suckers I was talking about hiking this whole time. What ya’ll dirty minded people were thinking?!! 😛

Thanx for going through my post. Keep smiling 🙂


If I smoke, Why you burn?!

India, a place where people are willing to give you endless advises and suggestions. They will lecture you and will talk about morals forgetting the fact that they themselves don’t have the basic moral (i.e. you don’t give advises or suggestions until you are asked for!). They will bring you down with their discouraging words because they are doing no good in their own life. Word of advice to them, why don’t you people invest that precious amount of time in yourself rather than wasting it on giving away your “no-good” suggestions and lectures.

India, a place where people restrict others (especially girls) from doing things because they were too weak and coward to do it at first place. Well, seriously this is way too disgusting! If you people can’t do or never tired to do, how can you underestimate others for the same thing. All my life I’ve come across several people and most of them, say 99.999999% fall under this category.  I call them “preachers“. And this bring me to say only one thing i.e.

India, a land where people burn, if you smoke!

Believe it or not, but it’s true that if you smoke here in India, I bet before the smoking burns you, it burns people around you. And if you are a girl then it certainly will burn them down to ashes. And moreover if you are a Stoner-Chick then Welcome to my world gal!

Before you even know it, you will find people standing out for you in line to purify your soul with words that were passed on by their own “conservative parents”. Now if you get a chance to take out all your frustration on others, you certainly don’t want to lose that. Same is with them, after listening to all those lectures all these years from their own close ones and from others they finally get a chance to take it out on someone who is doing the same thing which is considered bad according to them.

Alright, I agree with the fact that smoking is injurious for health. But you are missing the main point here—> REGULAR smoking is injurious for health!!

And talking about weed. Weed is a herb FYI. It’s not some kinda bad drug (like Coke, LSD, MDMA etc). It is used to cure people mentally and emotionally. If someone is finding peace and if that thing is calming him/her down, what is your problem people?!

It can be addictive BUT it totally depends on the person how s/he gets a hold on that thing. Why don’t you preach in front of those who are addicted to this stuff, but of course high level stoners won’t even listen to you!! Lolzz 😀

So you people go on targeting us who have a hold on this thing and preach in front us about control who have been there and done that and guess what, we ain’t addicted to that!

FYI people I’ve got hand full of stuff with me still 2 months clean—- And you call this addiction?? Think about it.

And you know what is more funny, when people who don’t even have a lil’ amount of knowledge about this thing, talks in front of us like he knows everything. Lets get this clear, you are here after listening to others talking bad about this and you have seen  people going crazy about stuffs like this BUT as I’ve mentioned earlier not everyone is same.

Moreover, I sense that it’s their alter ego (ego like if I can’t do this, how can someone) that they go on telling others to stop smoking because all stoners do have free soul and it’s normal to get jealous if someone is free of tensions and you are not! If you can not do that and can not stand such things, simply YOU WALK AWAY! 😛

~~Lets get into another story and at the end you gets to decide if I am addictive or not?!~~

I used to drink a lot before getting involved in the stuffs like weed, hash and all. To my surprise no one ever asked me to stop drinking because most of them drink for themselves. So they don’t find anything wrong with that because they are doing that too. And I remember getting sick and vomiting blood due to excessive drinking but no one ever stopped offering me a drink. And it was me who decided to get sober.Till this date I am clean. It’s been 6 months!

It’s not my fault if I wanted to taste it all, good or bad. Afterall  you can not decide what’s good or bad until you have experienced it all on your own. And in future I will be passing  it down to my children and my grandchildren, all my experiences  and pure authentic knowledge that I have got because I have felt that up close in my real life.

Some of you who thinks that Psy-bird have anything to do with it, let me make you clear that he is not like all those fuck boys who spoil girls and then take advantage of them. I still remember our first meet and we smoked together and he didn’t even touched me (while deep down I wanted to kiss him so badly because he was not like all other guys). He never encouraged me to smoke weed.

Sadly it’s not restricted to smoke only. I find millions of guys trying to lecture me down for everything I do. Just because it’s something different, something that they have not encountered before. And also because I am a girl and this country is male dominant.

So I will keep smoking and chilling with my guy (♥_♥) while rest of you preachers and haters out there can burn in hell!!

And for stoner-chicks like me.. PUFF PUFF AND BLOW IT ON THEIR FACE! 😛

Keep smiling 🙂

Satanism: A taboo

An introductory post on Satanism

Whenever anyone of us hear the word Satanic/Satanism, it’s normal to think that it has something to do with the evil stuff as we all know that usually term evil is always linked with the Satan.

Satan: A figure appearing in the texts of the Abrahamic religions who brings evil and temptation, and is known as the deceiver who leads humanity astray.

I thought of this whole thing as an evil too at the beginning. But one of my friend who is the “ocean of knowledge” told me that it’s not what I think and he suggested me to go through the basic book of satanism i.e The Satanic Bible.


Now for those who know me might be thinking what is wrong with me, why I am into all of these weird things, why this and that. Answer is simple my friend: CURIOSITY!

It all started when a guy came up to my friend asking about illuminati and stuff. This further led him to more related stuffs like satanic culture, the judgement day etc. etc.. Later that day when our lectures got over we all decided to visit The Masonic temple: Freemasons, which we all have heard about. At first I did not believe that we have that thing in our area but it all became real when we finally reached the spot. Two of our friends returned home halfway because they felt that the place might be haunted, probably because it is linked with dark things. At the end only three of us were left (curious guy, ocean of knowledge n me).

As expected, the area was restricted and we were not allowed to enter. But we interrogated the people living nearby about the place. They told us that it is closed for the outsiders and only certain people are allowed and some kinda meetings are held there. “Well we know what kinda meetings you are talking about?!”, both of my friends looked at each other. And finally they asked us to leave. So, we left the place with our unanswered questions and that left us with the curiosity to know more about that stuff.

Just another day my friend brought the Satanic Bible to the class. All our fellow mates when saw that book asked if it’s a book of some black magic and all. I’ve heard him talking about this book earlier too and he told me it’s not something evil but it’s a philosophy and pretty much more than that.

And so I took it home and went through it. Just when I finished the first portion of the bible, it all became clear to me, it was nothing like what everyone talks about satanism. There was nothing evil in that. I agreed with all of the point that the author tired to make because all of them were right, well more than right to me. To my surprise, I came to know that I was already following half of those rules in my life for like forever. But does that make me satanic? Ofcourse NO! It totally depends on you what you want to be. Most likely, most of us end up being shit!

All I know, that Satanic Bible is a great book and it would be even greater if you actually try to work that into your life. It talks more about individualism and how to grow stronger and how to focus on your originality. Sadly, people who are totally against it have linked it with something evil. Doing wrong deeds in the name of the Satan! The Satanic Bible never talked about hurting anyone nor supported any of those rituals where weird sacrifices are made.

At last, Shemhamforash!

Hope to write more about this topic in my coming posts. Keep looking forward to it. And keep smiling:)


Psychedelic~Bird: Intro

Walking down the street
When night is dark n deep
And people all around are in sleep
You walk alone in this cold night
Smoking n going through same old trips..

Clouds making sound; at distance, lightning strike the ground
You look up wishing if this time he’ll rain it over you
And as the first drop of rain touches your skin
You start wondering where she’s been….
Do you think of me? Do you feel it?
Or am I the only misfit?
And you keep walking before you sleep…

Psychedelic-bird aka Psy-bird is not just a name. It’s life. It’s a whole different world within a person. It’s unique. It’s exceptional.

We all are unique in our own way but uniqueness which tend to change people, leaving some life-changing impact on them is worth it. And so I call them  “The Exceptionals” because you don’t get to meet such kinda people in your day-to-day life that easily. You have to search through the crowd, cause they won’t be coming to you. But exceptionals  tends to fall under a particular category called “misfits” for normal people. Not everyone get them or handle them not because there is something wrong with them (that’s what other says) but because they are unique and are on whole new different level of life than rest of the people making all others outta their league. Divine. Pure. Away from all the shit that other youngsters (also mature people) are running after which includes fun, timepass, sex etc. Getting hold on these things and rising above all this shit at such an age is divine and unique. You know what’s more divine and unique, empathizing with other is!

♥ ♥ ♥ Well this is the first post of my site dedicated to Psy-Bird.. And when you read this birdie lemme remind you that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!! ♥ ♥ ♥

And you rest out there keep smiling and keep looking forward to my next post, there is more coming to it. Sayonara!:)